“It isn’t fair.”
This was the conclusion my new client came to during a session last week. Anxious to know what was causing my client’s angst, I inquired, “What, specifically, is unfair?"
I expected to hear a variety of answers from new government regulations, how her children were being assessed at school, or even how difficult is was to drive on Calgary roads in the winter. Instead, I was disappointed to hear the response, “I am expected to do too much with too little.”
I was curious, and so I asked, “What does that mean?”
“You know, too much to do with too little.”
Now that it was clear to me I felt it time to address her previous comment, “It isn’t fair.”
There are two truths in life that will at some time confront each of us. None of us will escape exposure to these, and how we confront them will determine how well we will come out on the other end.
The truths: “it isn’t fair,” and, sometimes life just sucks, are realities that will often test the limits of our endurance, inner strength and resilience.
Life will deal each of us a terrible hand at some point, one that is clearly unfair, unjust and undeserving.
Things will happen in our lives that just simply suck.
Fairness, the Energy Zapper
Lamenting about these things does nothing other than de-energize us and cause us to focus on the situation at hand rather than on different ways of dealing with it.
And as we continue to do this, we rob ourselves of our own resourcefulness and convince ourselves of the helplessness of our plight.
I pointed this out to my client and we began a joint research project where we delved into the specifics of the situation she was referring to and began listing remedies.
And when she left, she did so with a newfound determination to excel at doing more with less.
Life can be extremely unfair and can suck at the most painful level. And when it does, if we really wish to rise above the unfairness and the adversity, we have but one choice: muster your courage, find your mettle and get on with it.
As cold and clinical as that sounds it really is our only choice. We lack the power to make life fair when it isn’t and to exercise any control over those things that suck.
Get on with it
Which means our only remaining option is to determine how we will be affected and the best, surest and fastest way to do this is to accept it for what it is and do all that is in our power to not succumb to the powerful lure of pessimism and negativity and, instead, “get on with it” by resolving to focus on, and do, whatever we can to force this into our past as quickly as we can.
Life isn’t fair, nor should it be. We need adversity to grow, setbacks to make comebacks, tragedy to appreciate joy and challenge to overcome stagnation.
And the fastest way to get on with it is to get over it. Force yourself to take action. Challenge yourself to come up with 50 ways of addressing the situation in getting over it, treat those as 50 solutions and then spring into action by making them work for you.
Because if you don’t get on with it, it will find its way inside of you and eat away at you.
It will tear you apart.
And that really sucks.
It just isn’t fair.
Till we read again.