How Do I Get What I Want? Try This.
Lots of people ask me, ‘How do I get what I want in life?”
Take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the centre. At the top of the left side write, “I Want”.
Now, make a list of all the things you want. Take your time, and list everything you can think of. List what you would like in your financial life, career, health and appearance, family, relationships, personal development and anything else you can think of.
Make the list as exhaustive and detailed as you can.
When you’re finished write the following statement at the top of the right-hand side of the page, “I Must Have”.
Take your time with this list. Think through every time that you are considering transferring from the left side of your page to the right.
Ask yourself how important these are to you and how badly you want them? What are you willing to do to get these things? What will your life be like in 5 years, 10 years or 15 years if you succeed in getting these? What will it be like if you don’t?
Now compare the two lists. You see, when we make a list of what we want, we are essentially creating a wish list. When we decide what we absolutely, unequivocally must have and won’t live without, we are isolating our wishes from those things we will fight to the end in order to achieve.
If your original list is long, extensive and detailed and you transferred all of it to the right side of the page, you may well be deluding yourself.
Time to Prioritize
Imagine a continuum that lists everything you want in life. On the one end are all those things that would be “Nice to Have”. Those things that if they fell into your lap, you would be happy but you are unwilling to put forth any effort to make them happen.
On the other end are those things that you would list as “Must Have.” Must-have means that there is no force on this planet strong enough to prevent you from doing everything necessary for those things to become part of your reality.
You focus relentlessly on them, you work tirelessly to make them happen, you do not for a moment consider the possibility of not having them, in fact, the very thought of these things not being part of your life cause you pain, and you treat every setback and obstacle as simply being part of the price of getting what you want this.
Your Must-Haves are the first thoughts that enters your mind each morning and the last thoughts as you drift off to sleep every night.
The truth that we all eventually come to learn is that few of the things we want will magically fall into our laps and, unless our Must-Haves are true Must-Haves as defined above, the probability of our achieving them and retaining them is extremely remote.
I have worked with many clients who have boldly declared that they will do “whatever it takes” to make their Must-Haves their reality. And yet, over time, their behaviour becomes inconsistent with their stated objective.
Whatever It Takes
The Habit of Must Have is the one that ignites the proverbial fire in our bellies each time we think of how wonderful our lives will be with, and how empty our lives will feel without, the object of our desire.
So, take a few minutes, go back to your lists and if those wants that you moved from the “I Want” side of the page to the “I Must Have” side still belong there, then get busy because the real work to turn those Must-Haves into Haves has just begun.
Are you up to it?
Let’s make a habit of meeting like this.
On Saturday, October 28th, I am conducting a 1-day workshop on the Habits of Permanent Weight Loss. This will be a high-energy informative day focusing intently on the mindset of losing weight and keeping it off. Participants will leave with a personalized, detailed plan for success.
The workshop is restricted to 20 participants at a one-time introductory price of $190.00 plus GST. This price includes a private coaching session with me as well as a private session with a Registered Dietician.
To register, please visit www.strategicpathways.net/events