How Do I Know The “Right” Answer?

How Do I Know The “Right” Answer?

There is a question I am asked from time to time by clients who feel they are at a crossroads and seem unsure as to whether their feelings of uncertainty are a signal that it is time for them to move on.

Should I end my marriage? Is it time for me to change jobs? Is this the right time for me to make a career change? Should I try and quit smoking…again? Should I buy a new car? Am I ready to commit to joining a gym and working out on a regular basis?

These are just a few of the many I have heard.

I was taught a long time ago that good answers only come from good questions which means that it is the quality of question we ask that will best determine the answers we receive.

Each time I am asked a question like the ones above, my immediate response is that while the question will give you some insight, it is entirely the wrong question if you want to make the optimal decision.  

Questions that will evoke more meaning, reflection and contemplation to guide you to a platform from which you can make a better, more informed, less emotionally based decision, focus on a different perspective.  It is the difference between what should I do vs. what do I have.  

Instead, consider realistically evaluating the motivation and the gaps that exist, not just assuming something else…anything else…will magically fill the void.

Ask Yourself

What if you sought to understand the following:

  1. What is keeping me in my marriage?
  2. What is preventing me from changing jobs?
  3. What will a new career provide me with that I don’t have right now?
  4. What is keeping me from quitting smoking?
  5. What will a new car provide me with that my current one doesn’t?
  6. What is it that keeps me from going to the gym and working out three times each week?

These questions won’t always provide us with the immediate answers we seek, but they will lead us to the next question and then the next one until eventually we will have the clarity we need in order to make an informed decision, and then we can follow with the appropriate action.

For example, if we are wondering whether it is time to change jobs, by examining what specifically is keeping us in our current job, we may come to the realization that we are trading both comfort and security for what we really want – fulfillment.  This is important because once we realize that fulfillment fills a higher need than security, we may well make the decision to seek alternate employment.

Gain Pleasure, Avoid Pain

Remember this, we do what we do in order to either gain pleasure or avoid pain.  By asking ourselves simple, yet honest, thoughtful questions we will very quickly discover whether, in making this decision, we will avoid ongoing pain or enjoy new pleasure.

The calibre of decision(s) is always directly aligned and dependent upon the calibre of the question(s). If you remember this key principle every time you are thinking about alternate courses of action, you will be amazed at the wisdom you have at your fingertips.

If we are indeed the product of the choices we make, then expect life to become better as you choose to asks better questions.

Before you go…

You, me, all of us share the same goal. You want to be happy. Of course, happiness is uniquely defined by each of us and you agree that happiness is the result of the attainment of your desires.

You know getting there requires complete mastery of your emotions in order to create and sustain powerful, new habits which must include the habit of an unconquerable mindset and the certainty of supreme confidence in yourself and your abilities.

And there are daunting barriers that are keeping you from the life you dream of:

  • You struggle with limiting beliefs which hinder your efforts to produce your desired results.
  • You feel feelings of inadequacy.
  • You experience relentless frustration.
  • You increasingly think of giving up.

Living with fear and uncertainty, which are simply products of your mindset and beliefs, is not what you want.

I have been exactly where you are today, and I learned how to do what must be done.

Since then I have helped hundreds of people build the life of their dreams.

And many of those have done this by participating in my OBSESSION – 100 Days to Optimal Performance intense coaching cohort.

OBSESSION begins with a two-day intense workshop and then 100 days of dedicated commitment to personal excellence. During the 100 days you will interact weekly with your chosen cohort partner and meet with me up to 10 times for one-on-one personal coaching.

After 100 days you will look like you look today but everything else about you will be different.

And this summer, for the first and only time, I am offering this life-changing opportunity to a few brave and adventurous people for a 50% discount off the standard price.

But only for a short time.

This discounted offer will never be repeated. And only 20 seats are available.

We need to talk. Call me at 403 802 3476 or email me at and schedule a meeting to discover what OBSESSION will do for you.

Henry David Thoreau said: The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them.

OBSESSION will have you belting out your songs for the entire world to hear.

You will sculpt the life you have always wanted and become your own hero.

Call 403 802 3476 or email

Photo of Rael Kalley,Habits coach in calgary canada

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