I hate to be the bearer of devastating news but this will be my final posting for, as you are about to see, my life is about to change in the most fortuitous manner. I shall, any day now, be entering the secret domain of the disgustingly wealthy where I shall enjoy a life of opulence, excess and hedonism and shall finally be rid of the curse of having to mingle with the unwashed proletariat.

This truly is a story of how good things happen to good people and how the deserving get what they deserve.

My soon to be new life began earlier this week when I opened my inbox, my finger poised above the delete key, expecting the usual avalanche of fan mail. As an aside, I must confess I find these emails complimenting me on the genius of my writing to be quite tiresome. To the thousands sending in marriage proposals each day I must remind you that I am happily married to a person I love dearly. In fact, when I showed her some of the proposals she muttered something like “they should be very careful of what they wish for.”

However, embedded among these pathetic confessions of love was an email that caught my eye. Its subject was;

aTTENTION mR rEEAYL.

Good Day,

Greetings of the day to you, although you may be skeptical receiving this email as we have not met before, I am Mr JERRY NTAI, I work with the Mevas Centeral Bank, in conjunction with the Federal Republic of Nigeria, the Federal Ministry of Finance, Nigeria and the management of Centeral Bank of Nigeria, nevertheless I have a business proposition involving the sum of $51,500,000.00 in my bank “Mevas Bank”, Hong Kong, Nigeria, which I know we will be of mutual benefit to both of us, and I believe we can handle together, once we have a common understanding and mutual cooperation in the execution of the modalities.

How this came about is because of a tragedy I am sad to inform you of. Mr Mtwetwe Mgumbo our beloved Government minister of CORRUPTION was recently deceased when the engine fell off his plane and his plane crashed into a farmers field. Two cows were also killed and one of his wifes.

Before this tragedy Mr Mtwetwe Mgumbo deposited the sum of $51,500,000 in my bank and made me promise not to tell. The government will cease this money soon if we don’t get it out of here soon so I checked your credentials and saw you are a outstanding.

Should you be interested, I will place this money in your bank account for safekeeping until afterwards we will split it 60/40/ so you keep $20,000,000. I must trust you for this.

Please forward the following to me:

1.Full names,

2.Occupation,

3.Private phone number,

4.Current residential address.

5.Bank account number and address of bank

6.$500 one time fee to cover costs of transferral of funds

Your earliest response to this mail will be highly appreciated. Time is of the essential. Contact me via this email address:{mrsugarlips@hotmail.com.hk}

 Mr Jerry Ntai.

NB It Is Very Important You Reach Me ONLY with My Private Email Address. Confidentiality is essential. mrsugarlips@hotmail.com.hk.

 

 

I was stunned by my good fortune. Out of 6,000,000,000 people on the planet he chose me. What an honour.

Visions of caviar, mansions, private jets and Malka adorned in diamonds flooded my mind as I hurriedly completed the requested information and included my credit card and S.I.N. info to show good faith.

The only stumbling block was this; how could I raise $500.00 quietly without violating the request for confidentiality.

Here’s where you come in.

I have personally chosen you to be a part of a select group of investors. Only 100 lucky close, personal friends will be accepted and it will be on a first come, first conned basis. It works like this; each investment of $5.00 will entitle the investor to one percent of fifty percent of half of a quarter of three eighths of the total amount.

I will keep the rest. I know this seems like I am favouring myself in the disposition of these funds but remember, I was the one chosen, not you. Be grateful for the opportunity.

Please email your investment to me by no later than noon tomorrow. Funds received after noon will be subject to a late payment penalty.

Remember loose lips sink ships. Do not discuss this opportunity with anyone. Particularly the authorities.

 

The point?

Sadly, many people have allowed themselves to be sucked into these types of scams. We believe what we want to believe and our beliefs are based on our lifes experiences.

Beliefs aren’t real until we make them real for us. Our beliefs are rarely fact based. They are based on how we interpret information and we often form beliefs because we really want them to become true.

A wise teacher once told me that “we will never be truly free until we are willing to hold every believe we have up to the light for examination and to change those beliefs that do not serve us well.”

There are only 17 hours remaining until noon tomorrow.

Till we read again.