16. Take a lude off your mind

16. Take a lude off your mind

It’s remarkable how a small, seemingly innocuous event can trigger enormous and far reaching consequences. 

As recently as a week ago if I wanted to go to a particular restaurant, I’d go to that restaurant. 


Now, if I want to go to a restaurant I have to notify the head of my security detail three days in advance. 

They immediately dispatch a team to the chosen location in order to perform an initial risk assessment. 

This data is brought back to the security command centre and is circulated to security experts around the globe for evaluation. 

Following said evaluation, providing my visit to the restaurant is deemed an acceptable risk, an advance team sets up a three block perimeter around the restaurant at the same time as security and background checks are being conducted on the owners and staff. This usually results in partial restaffing of the restaurant and sometimes even leads to a sudden change of ownership. 

By the time my heavily armoured limo delivers me to the restaurant, all tables but mine, will be occupied by security specialists masquerading as humans out on a lunch break and several dozen snipers will have taken up positions in strategic positions around the facility. 

And it is like this 24/7. My home and office are surrounded by guards and even a simple trip to the store to buy milk has become a highly choreographed, planned and rehearsed event.

Malka’s crate is under 24 hour surveillance and two ferocious looking German Sheppard’s shadow her every movement, including bowel, it seems. They look so silly with their little secret agent sunglasses. 

It has taken a bit of getting used to. Gimalle and I found it a bit disconcerting for the first few days to wake up in the morning and see heavily armed, dark suited people standing at the foot of our bed talking into their sleeves.

And don’t get me started on what visits to the bathroom are like.

“What on earth is going on,” you ask? 

Well, it seems that my posting last week caused quite a stir.

I wrote that one of the reasons why we often don’t achieve our goals is not because we don’t know what to do but rather because we choose not to do what is necessary to do in order to achieve our goals and that the reason we choose not to do so is simple. It is just not important enough 

It seems several readers did not agree with me and voiced their displeasure through email. 

As I’m sure you realize, a man of my stature does not receive unsolicited email. Email addressed to me passes through several layers of human screeners, each of whom removes those deemed too insignificant to warrant my attention, before passing the surviving email up to the next level. 

Well, it seems that one email that survived the screeners and reached the desktop of my Senior Executive Assistant, First Class contained the following;

“… you don’t know what you are talking about. How dare you tell me what is important in my life and that I have choices. I don’t. You don’t know anything about me and how difficult my life is and will always be and there’s nothing I can do about it because every time I try it doesn’t work. So what’s the point in trying? You are cruel and insensitive and stupid. If it was important then, obviously I would do it, so there! Stop writing about stuff you know nothing about. Life isn’t about choice it’s about what happens, you $%&^ moron.” 

My Senior Executive Assistant, First Class, upon reading this invective laden note immediately contacted the Ultra Senior Executive Vice President, Security who determined there was a clear and present threat to my safety and instantly ordered the above described security.

As these security folks are the same ones who guard the Prime Ministers residence, he also provided me with a heavy statue to carry at all times.

Shortly thereafter I was shown the email. I read it and, feeling rather foolish, asked, “how do you pronounce $%&^?”

I want my old life back and my advisors tell me that the only way they can guarantee my safety is for me to write a retraction.

So here goes. 

The reason we frequently do not achieve our goals is not because we don’t know what to do. It is because we do know what to do, we just don’t do it.

And the reason we don’t do it is not because it’s not important enough, it is because it is not a high enough priority for us. 

There, that’s better isn’t it?

Till we read again.

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1 thought on “16. Take a lude off your mind”

  1. Good one, I like it. Instead of a retraction maybe this person(?) should spend a period of time in training with Malka and learn their proper place.


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