161. If we don’t own our emotions, who does?

161. If we don’t own our emotions, who does?

Sometimes the most powerful of life’s lessons are the simplest ones and while the word simple may suggest easy to grasp, it does not necessarily mean easy to live by.

Such is the case with The Habit of Emotional Ownership.

The Habit of Emotional Ownership is the gateway to our personal power – that omnipotent sense within us all which determines whether we live our lives as victims or victors.

By adopting The Habit of Emotional Ownership as our own we bring into our lives a basic tenet that is elusive to most as it shatters the myth that many live by; a false belief that our emotions are the result of what happens in our lives.

Many sadly believe that we live in a cause-and-effect world which means that we are, at all times, at the mercy of forces outside of ourselves and that our emotions are caused by events over which we have no control.

A simple example, familiar to all who drive, is the experience of being cut off in traffic by a car suddenly veering in front of you forcing you to take some form of preventive or evasive action and leaving you frothing in fury.

Those of us who have had such an experience – which means all of us who drive – tend to place responsibility for the anger we feel squarely on the shoulders of the “f****** a******” behind the wheel of the offending vehicle.

In truth, that driver had as much to do with our rage as the tooth fairy – nothing.

The Habit of Emotional Ownership instills in us the unswaying conviction that we own each and every emotion we feel and also serves as a constant reminder to us that our personal power – our God-given right to self-determination – can never be adversely influenced by others, or by forces outside of ourselves, without our willing cooperation.

The Habit of Emotional Ownership means:

If you’re down – it’s you.

If you’re sad – it’s you.

If you’re stressed – it’s you.

If you’re happy – it’s you.

If you’re ecstatic – it’s you.

If you’re euphoric – it’s you.

Grasping onto The Habit of Emotional Ownership with both hands and promising yourself you’ll never let go, is also the most liberating gift you could possibly give yourself and one that will forever change the course of your life.

Owning our emotions is not forsaking them. Ownership of our emotions does not mean we cannot feel sad at times and down at times and helpless at times but what it does mean is that we understand and acknowledge that at those times we are experiencing those feelings, not because of what is happening in the world around us or in our own lives, but rather because those feelings are the ones we have chosen to best experience those things in those moments.

The word perspective, more than any other word in our lexicon, sums up the quality of our lives as best explained by this memorable quote from the late Wayne Dyer, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”

The opposite of The Habit of Emotional Ownership is victimhood, which is the sorry state from which we blame other people or events for our emotions and justify those sad feelings by convincing ourselves that they are our only choice.

Accepting The Habit of Emotional Ownership for the truth it portrays is not without challenge and will at times test the conviction of all of us, but once ingrained, it changes our lives forever by granting us a sense of calmness and freedom that victimhood can never compete with.

And living life as a victim is not living life at all.

Let’s make a habit of meeting like this.


Finally, after months in the works, my company’s new website is up. Please take a moment and visit www.strategicpathways.net . Browse through this site and then click on the “Contact Us” tab or tellmemore@strategicpathways.net  and let me know what you think.

Your opinion truly means a lot to me.

Thank you.

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