I’m thinking of starting a cult.
I have been thinking about this for quite some time and my interest was piqued recently when I read about Mr. Harold Camping and his Radio Family organization.
It seems Mr. Camping was able to successfully convince thousands of followers to give away all their worldly possessions while joining him in his crusade to spread the word of impending doom.
And for the last several years Mr. Camping’s supporters have been donating some twenty million dollars annually to ensure that Mr Camping has had the means to continue his recruiting campaign.
Now I know that great skill is required to develop a following of this ilk and so I set out to find out what my chances would be of successfully developing a legion of loyal followers who would hang on to my every word all the while showering me with huge amounts of cash.
My research took me to the book “Captive Hearts, Captive Minds” by Madeleine Landau
Tobias and Janja Lalich where I learned the requisite qualifications for successful cult leadershp include:
- An outstanding ability to charm and win over followers.
– I have no followers unless I include Malka, our little shih-tzu-dachshund cross who follows me everywhere whenever I have treats in my hand.
- The ability to beguile and seduce.
– I have struck out every time I have tried to seduce and have never beguiled anyone successfully.
- The gift of entering a room and garnering all the attention.
– Happens all the time. Usually accompanied by loud cries of “get out.”
- Commanding the utmost respect and obedience.
– Nailed that one, especially the obedience part. Check with my wife.
- Individuals whose narcissism is so extreme and grandiose that they exist in a kind of splendid isolation in which the creation of the grandiose self takes precedence over legal, moral or interpersonal commitments.
– I think I have that, whatever it means.
Undeterred by my apparent lack of essential cult leading skills I decided to forge ahead. I thought that if I could just brand my cult with an appropriate name the desired followers would arrive in droves.
I came up with a brilliant name.
An obvious choice.
And then, heartbreak. Google told me I was too late.
Apparently that name has been taken. There is already a Raelian cult that was founded by a man named Claude.
He changed his name to Rael.
He’s not even a real Rael.
They believe that life on earth was created by a species of extraterrestrials.
And, as we have so often discussed, I believe that we define ourselves by what we believe to be true.
And we diligently sell our truth to all who choose to buy it.
And then we ask them to sell it to others.
And that’s how we multiply our truth.
By recruiting others to our way of thinking.
So arguably anytime we have been able to convince even one person to join us in our way of thinking, we have demonstrated our worthiness to become a cult leader.
Consider this; if you have ever convinced anyone to change their opinion about anything and embrace yours, you may be the next Mr. Camping or a Claude/Rael.
At least once in my life I have been able to convince someone of something but I have decided not to waste my extraordinary talent on forming a cult.
I don’t want to run the risk of being called a con man or a charlatan or a manipulator or a seducer or a beguiler.
No! I’m going to pursue a higher calling.
One that instills confidence in all.
A calling that is respected by all.
A calling that inspires confidence and trust.
A calling that only those of impeccable selfless character can aspire to.
A calling that is never about self but rather about service to others.
I’m thinking of becoming a politician.
Till we read again.
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