Earlier this week I ran into a colleague who was proudly strutting around his office resplendent in his brand new ensemble: new suit, new shirt, new tie, new socks, new shoes and, presumably, new underwear.
When I complimented him on his suave, debonair and elegant GQ-like appearance he immediately pointed to his suit jacket and informed all those in hearing range that this was indeed a quality suit; it had a 600 thread count.
It turns out that fabric quality is gauged by the number of threads contained in each and every square inch. In fact thread count is apparently a scientific term with strictly regulated standards on how those threads are counted.
Technically, thread count means the number of threads woven together in a square inch. You count all the threads lengthwise and all the threads widthwise.
They even have their very own names. The lengthwise threads are called warps and the widthwise ones are called wefts.
But I’m sure you already knew that.
In order to calculate the total thread count you must add the number of lengthwise threads to the number of widthwise threads. For example, 100 lengthwise threads woven with 100 widthwise threads produce a thread count of 200.
It’s mathematical: warp + weft = thread count.
The more (and finer) threads you can weave together, the higher the quality of the fabric.
But only to a point. Apparently above a certain thread count there is no discernible difference in quality although there is frequently a substantial difference in price.
The experts tell us that a thread count of 150 produces a quality that is OK and a thread count of 600 produces quality that is WOW.
Above 600, the quality remains pretty much the same but many will pay more because they (naively) perceive greater value.
And this same standard of quality evaluation is applied to all fabrics throughout our entire planet.
And those same experts tell us that the average person cannot tell the difference between a piece of fabric with a count of 150 and one with a count of 600.
And both will do exactly the same job to the same satisfaction of the fabric possessor.
In other words, the differences above 150 are marginal in quality and ability but the perception of higher quality sways us to believe we are getting something better when, in reality, we probably aren’t.
So I began to wonder what would happen if we applied these same principles to determining people quality.
What if we could add peoples warps to their wefts and thus determine their thread count.
To do this successfully and therefore calculate an objective thread count that would enables us to know precisely what quality we can expect from each person with whom we interact, we simply have to develop a method of “thread assessment” that we can apply universally.
May I suggest something like this?
Friendliness 10 – 50 threads
Politeness 10 – 50 threads
Sincerity 10 – 50 threads
Kindness 10 – 50 threads
Competent 10 – 50 threads
Generous 10 – 50 threads
Accepting 10 – 50 threads
Curious 10 – 50 threads
Trustworthy 10 – 50 threads
Loyal 10 – 50 threads
Grounded 10 – 50 threads
Selfless 10 – 50 threads
We’ll call this the Wefted List
Mean spirited 50 – 150 threads
Narcissistic 50 – 150 threads
Rude 50 – 150 threads
Arrogant 50 – 150 threads
Know All 50 – 150 threads
Always right 50 – 150 threads
Hypocritical 50 – 150 threads
Tyrannical 50 – 150 threads
Self – centered 50 – 150 threads
We’ll call this the Warped List.
So all we have to do, with everyone we know, is simply use the above measurements to determine each person’s thread count and you will know precisely what quality you are dealing with and what type of performance you can reasonably expect.
Always make sure you are not fooled by thread count. Thread count only informs us as to what we can see and feel on the outside. There are many people out there who will present with a thread count of 800, 1,000, 1,500 or even higher so please remember that anything above 150 is good quality, 600 is exceptional and anything above 600 is all packaging and no substance.
What’s your thread count?
Till we read again.
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