Do you know people like this? They find fault with everything. Whenever an idea is presented, they immediately come up with 100 reasons why it can’t or won’t work. They are critical of everyone they meet. Nothing, and no one, is ever good enough.
Generally, these people are experts at everything. They have strong opinions on every topic and cannot be convinced that their thoughts represent anything but cold, clinical, gospel facts.
They’re not happy unless they’re not happy.
So, how did they become like this? The answer is simple: practice, practice, practice.
Complaining is a Habit
It is a safe bet to assume that their criticism of anything and their complaints about everything are the result of a lifetime of viewing the entire world through a lens of critical judgment and to those folks, seeking and then finding something to complain about is perfectly normal to them.
They have built an internal program that is compelled to seek, and then find, fault and imperfection everywhere, even in the presence of perfection.
In other words, they have developed, adopted and then mastered the habit of criticism and complaint.
And as we have so often discussed, habits don’t change by simply changing our behaviour, but rather by beginning to change what we believe to be true.
Unfortunately, a change of habits cannot be foisted upon these folks and until such time as they choose to begin the process of acquiring a new habit, and until then, if ever, those around them will continue to be constantly exposed to their never-ending and nerve-grinding whining.
Many of these folks are oblivious to the effect their constant complaining is having on others. To the contrary, they will often view themselves through a very positive lens and will frequently be genuinely surprised if ever their negative behaviour is brought to their attention.
Ironically, this is partly brought about by the fact that their negativity is never brought to their attention and, in the absence of feedback to the contrary, we always assume we are doing well.
Most often we express our concerns, or frustrations, regarding this type of behaviour with other people and rarely will we point out the constant criticism to the “criticizer’s” themselves.
Help Them Help Themselves
It’s extremely awkward pointing out this type of behaviour but if we are sincere in our desire to help these people change their behaviour, we must acknowledge that by choosing to remain silent we are now complicit in their continuation of their constant complaining.
Think of it this way. The worst that can happen is that you will now become a repeated subject of their ongoing griping and, if their complaining is as nonstop as you have described it to be, then more than likely you already have been an object of their scorn.
And that ain’t worth complaining about.
Unless you just can’t stop yourself.
Till we read again.
Please read on:
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
Henry David Thoreau
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