This Is The Reason Why Changing a Habit Is So Difficult

This Is The Reason Why Changing a Habit Is So Difficult

This Is The Reason Why Changing a Habit Is So Difficult

WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO CHANGE (text) over a picture of a bridge

There are two questions I am frequently asked: why is it so difficult to change and why is it so tough to motivate ourselves and retain that motivation for the long-term?

The answers are simple: we get what we tolerate. The fact is if we continue to tolerate the present status quo – despite our stated intention to want more and to do better – lasting change will remain an elusive fantasy.

Why is that, because there is an enormous difference between saying we want and declaring what we will no longer tolerate, regardless of the circumstances.

Are You Serious?

By tolerating what we currently have or don’t have – but putting up with it – we are willingly accepting a lower standard for ourselves that means if we are serious, really serious, about creating greater success it to MUST begin by first raising the bar on what we consider acceptable.

Raising our standards has to be the first step because raising the standards means we will absolutely, no longer, under any circumstances, for any reason, accept the current status quo and vow to not rest until we have achieved the highest standard.

Achieving excellence is not about improving by 100% or 1000%, true progress is achieved by doing many things 1% better.

And doing them again and again and again.

Limit of Tolerance

In the 1976 movie Network, actor Peter Finch urged people to go to a window and inform the world, “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

I’m not suggesting we need to become mad as hell, but when we get to the stage where we are not going to take it anymore, we have reached the limit of our tolerance, and it is in that moment that change becomes easy because we are no longer willing to end up with what we have been putting up with.

I have been around many people who have struggled with the same issues for years. They try different remedies, experience marginal success and then revert back to familiar patterns and behaviours.

These folks seem not to know the degree to which they are the architects of their own misfortune because they repeatedly lower their standards, accept less then they say they want to accept and demonstrate to themselves their own willingness to tolerate the very things they wish to change.

When we have finally reached the critical point where change is no longer optional, we need to ensure the destruction of all paths that may lead back to what we don’t want in order to make sure we don’t run back to what is both comfortable and acceptable.

In other words, we must burn all bridges. By doing so, the only way forward is to never look back. 

Then, we don’t ask “why is it so difficult to change?” Instead, we ask “why didn’t I do this sooner?”

And the success we seek, will come to us through the compounding of all the small things we change, you know, by constantly improving everything by that 1%.

So, if you’re at the point where you are courageously prepared to declare that “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore,” then make a commitment to raise your standards right now and refuse to lower them under any circumstances.

And if you really need help with this then contact me. It’s what I do, and I do it really well.

My number is (403) 203 0343 or (888) 929 0343. You can also email me at

But don’t call if you’re unwilling to be held to a higher standard. That is, after all, my job.

Till we read again.

Photo of Rael Kalley,Habits coach in calgary canada

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